Complications
by HellsSaint
Summary: A/N: This has nothing to deal with South, but I wanted to post this story. After experiencing heartbreak once, Katie thought of girls only as playmates...that is...until a certain someone showed up in her life.
1. Misreading Signals

**A/N: All the following in this story is true. The tormenting memories are too much to handle right now, and I don't even think writing them out is going rid them from my mind.**

"Hey, I've heard some things…and I just wanted to know if they were true." I tried to seem calm and cool as I leaned against the wall beside the small section of lockers.

Carmen shut her locker and looked at me with furrowed brows.

"Well?" She asked.

"Do you like me?" I asked, holding my breath.

_This was the moment I was waiting for._

"No. Who told you that?" She asked.

My face dropped.

_So she didn't like me after all. I guess I was just misreading the signals._

"Uhm…actually, I heard it from a lot of people." I lied.

"Oh…well, they were wrong. If I liked you, I would've just told you." She explained, walking alongside me towards the cafeteria.

"Oh." I simply replied, trying my best not to look upset.

"Besides…I have a boyfriend." Carmen sighed.

_Ugh…__**every time**__ I mentioned liking her to someone, reality would c__ome smacking right into my face. Now, even __**she**__ was telling me the same._

"Yeah." I nodded. "Well, I'm just glad I got that sorted out." I lied again.

_To be truthful…__I wasn't glad that I got it all sorted out. If anything, I was miserable. I thought it was my chance to finally find love again. After all the depressing years…after that __**one **__heartbreak…after all that construction and building walls around my heart…she, the girl whom doesn't even return the feelings, ended up breaking them down._

It was lunch, and we were sitting at one of the many round tables in the cafeteria. I couldn't even look at Carmen. It hurt too much. I was silent for the most part…only speaking when the others asked if I was okay. And even then, I would just nod and quietly murmur that I was tired, before burying my head in folded arms.

"Hey, Katie…wanna come to my locker with me?" Jade nudged me with her elbow.

I looked up at the redhead with tired eyes and nodded silently before getting up and leaving the table with her. As we headed to the B Building, where our lockers were located, Jade began to speak.

"So…did you tell her?" She asked; eyes wide.

"Yes." I sighed.

"Seriously?" Jade asked.

"Yeah…" I nodded, staring at the ground. "Well…I asked her if she liked me." I shrugged as we found our way to her locker.

"What'd she say?" My friend asked excitedly, opening her locker.

"She said no." I suspired.

"Oh…" She replied quietly, shutting the locker.

Suddenly, the bell rang and we exchanged goodbyes. I followed my usual routine…casually walking to Biology; occasionally stopping to talk with acquaintances. And not to my surprise, there was Carmen waiting by the door. We talked a few moments, hoping that my sense of humor would make me feel a little better, before hugging and separating.


	2. Bus Ride

**A/N: I own all of this…mostly because it's not fiction. Anyways…some chapters won't be coming soon because…all these things are **_**still**_** happening. So, yeah...once I get to a certain point in the story…it may just totally disappear for a while because nothing is happening with Carmen. Anyways…enjoy.**

I was sitting at the same round table as the other day. It was lunch and I had left Carmen with Jade in hopes that I wouldn't have to wait in line with her, having her eyes bore holes in mine.

"So, we were all sitting there when all of a sudden…his pants fall down." I laughed.

Kristen, Brenda, and Elexis were listening to another random story brought up from some subject that was somewhat related to it. The chattering and laughing were keeping my mind from wandering to the previous day. Carmen and Jade showed up later with their trays and we all had some kind of random separate conversations. Lunch went on, while Brenda spoke with Elexis, I spoke with Kristen…and for some odd reason unknown to me, Jade and Carmen seemed engrossed in a conversation that I intended to listen in on.

"Yeah…so, are you gonna tell Katie…" Was all I could hear from Jade.

Since the rest was unheard by me, I felt anxious for the rest of the day.

All throughout fifth and sixth period, my mind wandered on and on about what my two friends were talking about. I mean, obviously…the subject was me…but what else was there?

"Katie…hand in your test." Mrs. B sighed.

I snapped out of it and looked up at the twenty-something blonde with furrowed brows.

"But I'm not finished." I protested as she grasped my test.

"Class is over, Katie. Hand it over." She retorted.

"B-But I'm not done. Just give me two minutes!" I whined as she yanked the sheet out of my hands.

"You can do it tomorrow." She sighed.

"Fine." I replied, running a hand through my hair.

I quickly gathered my books and sped off to the bus, knowing that I'd lose my seat if I didn't hurry.

"So, I heard you and Carmen say my name today at lunch." I began talking to Jade as she settled herself in her seat. "What was that about?" I asked.

Jade shifted around, a familiar look on her face, "…I can't really tell you."

"Oh…okay." I shrugged, turning around and stuffing my headphones into my ears.

It took about a minute for the redhead to cave in, patting my shoulder.

"Ugh…so, I can't tell you…but I will anyways." She exclaimed.

I just chuckled, knowing Jade would. She's just one of those people that **has **to tell…and that's one of the many reasons why I loved her like a relative.

"Okay…" I replied, waiting for her response.

"Well…Carmen and I were talking in line…and, God you are going to hate me for this…I kinda told her that you liked her and that that was the real reason you asked her if she liked you…" She winced.

I just stared at her; my stomach felt like a pipe bomb just went off inside of it.

"…But!" She exclaimed. "There's good news." She explained.

I looked at her, brows furrowed, waiting for her to redeem herself.

"She said she kinda likes you too." Jade replied to my silence.

My dropped jaw had turned into a small smile.

_I knew it! She liked me. Hehe._

"Katie? Katie…hello…" Jade waved her hand back and forth in front of my face.

I just grinned like an idiot.

"What are you thinking?" She asked.

"I feel like I'm about to do a little dance." I laughed.

For the rest of the bus ride, I didn't know why, but I couldn't stop myself from smiling.


	3. Tripping Through Puddles

**A/N: So…like…I'm really bored and my brain still isn't letting go of its death grip on the subject of this story…so, I decided to write more. Yes, all of this has already happened. So, just so you know…I'm still dealing with the whole 'girl has boyfriend and I actually like her enough to give a crap unlike usual'…but, what's happened in the story that I've typed up so far actually happened like a couple of months ago. Oh, and just to let the people who were disappointed that this story didn't have anything to deal with South…I warned you…so please, don't flame. Any who, for those who do want to read on, enjoy.**

"Hey Katie." Carmen popped up behind my P.E. locker, smiling slightly.

She had always done this. Every day, she came to see me in the locker room before we rushed out to our P.E. class together. This time though…I felt like she was doing it to torture me.

"Hey." I greeted her, receiving a warm embrace.

We exchanged some meaningless words about our mothers and then she left to go get changed into her P.E. clothes. After getting dressed, we met up at the locker room exit and talked. It was pouring outside, so after five steps out the door, my grey hoodie clung to my arms and torso.

"So…Katie…I need to talk to you…" Carmen broke the silence.

I choked a bit on my spit as the thought of her confronting me about liking her hit my brain.

I turned to listen to her, "Sure. Go ahead."

"Well…remember how we were at my lockers and you asked me if I liked you?" She asked.

"Yeah…" I nodded.

"Well, why'd you ask me in the first place?" Carmen wondered.

"Uhm…'cause everyone was telling me that you did." I lied through my teeth.

She seemed almost disappointed with that answer, replying only with a solemn, 'Oh.'

"Yeah…why'd you ask?" I questioned.

"Because…well, that day…I lied." She confessed.

I quickly looked at her…what little breath I had, now gone.

"Don't get all weird on me…" She chuckled slightly.

"I won't…" I warned. "'Cause…I…kinda like you too." I grinned, goofily tripping over a puddle.

This time it was Carmen who was silent.

"Don't get all weird on me…" I laughed, mocking her.

"Shut up." She playfully shoved me.

Once I was changed back into my normal clothes, I left the locker room, alone. As I waited, sitting on a nearby staircase, I was joined by Carmen. All of the sudden, she started asking random questions about mine liking her.

Such as, "Why exactly do you like me?"

"Well…I guess 'cause of your personality." I shrugged. "And that's unusual for me…I mean, usually I don't even **like **girls…they're usually just some 'piece of ass'…and the fact that it's not that kinda scares the crap out of me." I sighed. "…Plus you're pretty damn adorable." I smiled.

She just took the answer for what it was; me not bothering to ask the same.


	4. The Letter

**A/N: Okay, so I'm sooo sorry about the late updates and whatnot…it's just, first, there was my track meets…which I am proud to say, I've already won four first place medals in the past couple of weeks, anyways….then my iPod wiped out my entire hard drive and I lost every single chapter I had written down….so, yeah. Okay…I'm done rambling…enjoy.**

"So, if I broke up with my boyfriend…would you ask me out?" Carmen asked me another random, on-the-spot question.

We were standing in the lunch line like we usually did, but this time, the conversation between us was actually important.

I shifted my weight to my left foot and back to my right, "Honestly…yes." I sighed. "I mean, not like **right** after you guys broke up…but maybe a week or two later." I explained.

"Oh." She nodded.

"But, I would never make you break up with your boyfriend just for me." I stated. "I mean, I like you…a lot….but I don't want you to dump your boyfriend and then figure out that I'm not as great as you thought I was…." I breathed, my sweeter side slowly creeping out of my skin.

"Yeah…no…I know." She stammered. "I mean, I like you a lot too, but…I really do love my boyfriend." She replied.

I winced a bit inside, the blow to my heart stinging a little more than I thought it would.

"Well, look…whatever happens…I don't want to lose you as a friend." I recovered as we finally got to the front of the line.

The rest of the week was filled with 'almost kisses,' pretending like nothing had happened, and those weird hugs that last longer than most should. It was finally Friday, and all I felt like doing was relaxing.

"Hey, lemme see your binder." Carmen commanded.

I looked at her with furrowed brows before handing her the navy blue binder, covered in stickers. She flipped to the back, where I kept all my blank papers. I watched her carefully and quietly as she began writing. Three times, she crumpled her letter and started all over again. By the time she was finished, the bell had rung and we left to go to lunch. Carmen had decided to stay with Jade in the Miguel's Junior line while I stayed at the lunch table, reading Carmen's letter.

_Hey Kat,_

_Well, now you know how I feel. I had to tell you because I know if I didn't, I'd probably regret it, and well….it was killing me. It's kinda weird because you're my best friend, and the way I feel for you isn't even a 'like' it's past that…which makes it even more weird and complicated for me._

_ -Sorry,_

_Carmen_

_What exactly did that mean? I mean, I got that the situation is complicated…but…what did the 'past 'like' mean?_

My brain was wandering. I was long gone…so completely absorbed in the letter, re-reading it countless times, that I didn't even realize Carmen and Jade sit down and start talking about me.


	5. Unchanged Feelings

**A/N: So, the letter I wrote in the last chapter was the actual letter she gave me, word for word. I think I still have it in my binder, but I don't know…I found it before I wrote that last chapter and just inserted it in there. Any who hope you enjoy and review this next chapter.**

I sat in my room, fiddling with crap under the bed. It was a hot Sunday afternoon, and I was stressed. And when I'm stressed or upset…I clean. So I went on this huge rampage of cleaning my room, which included moving the one-hundred and fifty pound bed and the one-hundred pound couch, to different positions. As I raked out the trash from under the bed, I found a crumpled up piece of paper; the ink visible through the page and the bottom torn off. I uncrumpled it and decided to read it.

_I love the way she dances when she thinks no one is watching. I love how she's proud of her abs and shows off. I love how she thinks that she has chubby cheeks, just because she has dimples. I love how she thinks she looks like a poodle with curly hair. I love how she loves her mom. I love how she thinks that just because her stepdad has green eyes, he look's white. I love how she has a biting fetish. I love how she's only ticklish on the sides of her neck. I love how she has the same taste in music as I do. I love how she can't open her locker unless she's not concentrating on it. I love how she loves hearts. I love how she tells me to wait for her, even though she knows I will. I love how she can't stand not talking to me. I love how she plays with my hair, even when I think it's greasy. I love how she loves her friends._

That's where the page was torn, but I remember what I wrote at the bottom of the page…

_It's just how she loves me that I can't stand._

I felt terrible after reading the paper. I felt that, even though I told her how I felt towards her, she still wasn't mine. And I still really liked her.

It had been a month since that Sunday, and throughout that month, none of my feelings for her stopped. And hers didn't seem to stop either. It was now Monday, March 23…and something in the air felt sickening. It felt like something bad was going to happen. I ignored the feeling, but by the time I walked to P.E., the tension was like a fire.

Jade rushed up to me, grabbing me by the shoulder as I was just going to give her a casual head nod and proceed to the locker room. She instantly yanked me beside a building, in a secluded area.

"Dude, what the heck?!" I exclaimed.

"I have to tell you something." The redhead replied, eyes wide.

"What?" I asked, shrugging her hand off of my shoulder.

"Look, Carmen's not sitting with us anymore." Jade reported.

"What?" I asked, a little taken aback at her 'un-subtleness.'

"Yeah, apparently, she thinks we're talking about her and told Kristen that she feels all left out, so she's not gonna hang out with us anymore." Jade stated.

"That ridiculous. She's been included in **everything**. What the fuck?" I wondered aloud.

"That's what I said." Jade sighed. "Look, I gotta go. But…don't tell Kristen, 'cause she wanted to tell you."

Before I could even respond, Jade had gone and I was left to think about the previous statement alone.


	6. Love Of A Child And Possibly Its Mom

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. It might not be as popular as my other story going on right now, but, hey, it's all good. Enjoy.**

It had been months and Carmen still wasn't talking to me, so I decided to just keep my mind off of her, by visiting my two favorite people.

"Katie!" Wesley's bright face greeted me.

"Wes!" I exclaimed, picking him up quickly and spinning him around.

I set him back down in the doorway and crouched down, wanting to be eye-level with him.

"What are you doing here?" The blonde boy asked, his dimples still visible.

"Can't I come see my favorite five year old?" I laughed. "Where's your mom dude?" I asked.

"She's in the kitchen, making dinner." He stated, his eyes as wide as they always were.

"Wesley Alan! I told you not to answer the door. Someone might come and abduct you or something!" A voice from behind Wes scolded.

A second later, the owner of the voice appeared at the door, shocked to see me.

"Well, well, well…apparently you knew it wasn't anything harmful, because it took you awhile to get here." I grinned at the petite brunette.

Amanda. She smiled at me; hair was up in a pony-tail and she had a wash cloth on her shoulder. She walked beside her child and pulled me into a warm embrace. I stumbled a bit, as the hug was sort of unexpected.

"What are you doing here?" The girl repeated her son's words. "I haven't seen you since that day I forgot to pick up Wes at day care." She chuckled.

She was my best friend. I had known her since elementary school, so when she had a child, whose father abandoned them, I decided to not only be there during labor and have my hand almost broken off, but I also decided to pay for everything the boy did and took care of him when she couldn't. Basically, I was one of his parental figures.

"Well, obviously, I came to abduct your son." I grinned.

She playfully shoved me, "Shut up."

I held up my hands in defense. "Alright, alright…" I sighed. "So, are you gonna invite me in, or do I have to sit here and cry at the door like a frustrated drunk?" I asked.

"Oof…that was some good cookin'." I smiled, washing off the last of our dishes.

"Oh, you **would** say that, considering the fact that it's **your** rib recipe." Amanda rolled her eyes, drying the plate I handed her and placing it in the cabinet above her head.

"Hey, hey, hey…I said it was good **cooking**…not good taste or whatever…although, I will admit that I am a wizard when it comes to taste." I laughed, turning around and leaning against the sink as I watched her toss a few napkins in the trash.

"Right…" She smirked.

We were sitting there, in silence, staring at each other peacefully, when all of the sudden, Wesley runs through the kitchen naked with a towel around his neck.

"Mom, I need you to make me a bath!" He exclaimed.

"Holy cow…that's the first time I've ever heard you say you wanted to take a bath." I chuckled, ruffling his hair.

"Well, I wanna show you this cool new boat I got!" He exclaimed, running back to the bathroom.

Mandy and I laughed as he sped off.

"I guess I better go make him a bath." She chuckled.

"Go ahead; I'll be…playing with this." I smiled, picking up a video camera from the kitchen island.

"If you try any funny business, I'll hurt you." She warned before leaving the room.

I grinned, her words giving me an idea.

"Mom," Wesley whined. "You gotta check if it's too hot."

This was all part of the plan. I waited around the corner, the video camera in my hand and recording.

"Alright…" Amanda groaned, leaning over the tub.

I slowly crept out from behind the corner, the video camera directed at her backside and the tub. I gave Wes the signal and he pushed her over; making her topple into the water with a huge splash. She resurfaced quickly, looking at me with a shocked expression as I tried not to fall down from laughing so hard.

"I can't believe you conned him into doing that!" She exclaimed.

"I'm sorry…when the words 'funny business' came out, I couldn't help it..." I laughed.

"Put that freakin' camera down and help me up!" She commanded.

"Alright, alright…" I calmed myself down, setting down the camera on the counter and walking over to her.

As soon as I reached out my hand, I was tugged in on top of her, making another huge splash. I quickly scrambled to hold myself up so I didn't squish her and looked down at her with the same expression as she had as she laughed loudly.

"You butt." I laughed.

"Hey, you asked for it." She defended herself.

"Agh…well you're still a butt." I groaned, trying to get up, but failing.

She laughed again, "Y'know, I'm not gonna lie…I've missed days like this."

"Yeah; I've missed you and Wes a lot." I agreed.

And then there was that peaceful silence again; us just staring into each other's eyes. Except this time, I felt something that I didn't think I would ever feel again.


	7. Female Father

**A/N: Ooh, cliffhanger! Danger! Don't worry. You'll see what happens next. Enjoy the drama that ensues.**

"We should probably clean up." I saved myself.

"Uh…yeah." She shook her head as I got up from the tub and helped her up. "I've still gotta put Wes to bed."

"Don't worry about it, I'll tuck him in. You just clean yourself up and rest." I smiled.

"Okay." Amanda nodded, looking a little dumbfounded.

"Alright. I'll see you in a few." I sighed, rubbing her back.

As I was about to leave, I heard Amanda speak.

"And Katie…" She spoke softly.

I turned and looked at her, "Yeah?"

"Thanks." She smiled.

"Your welcome…for whatever I did." I chuckled, leaving moments after.

"…When the moon fell in love with the sun

All was golden in the sky

All was golden when the day met the night

Summer

In the middle of summer

The middle of summer

The middle of summer

In the middle of…" I finished the song and set down my guitar, kissing Wes' forehead.

As I was about to leave, Wesley spoke.

"Katie?" He asked.

"Yeah, bud?" I asked, walking back to his bedside.

"Do you love anyone?" He asked.

I looked at him as if it was the oddest question I had ever heard, but I answered anyways.

"Well…I thought I could've loved this girl named Carmen…but she showed me that she's just like everyone else." I sighed.

"What does that mean?" He asked.

"Well...when I say that…I mean that everyone who I've ever loved has left me…and she did the same. It's hard to explain to you 'cause you're at such a tender age." I sighed.

"I think I get it." He nodded.

"Well, if you do…I'm amazed. You're probably gonna be a genius." I chuckled.

"Do you love Mommy?" He asked.

The question was so out of the blue, it almost made me sick.

"Well…yeah, I guess." My brows furrowed. "I mean, you're mom and I…we had a thing before…and I did love her, but then she met your dad…and…the rest is history." I explained.

Wesley gave me a half smile that seemed almost sympathetic, and I wondered if he actually **did** understand what I was saying.

"Well…I think Mommy loves you." He replied.

I smiled softly at him, ruffling his soft hair.

"And how did you come to that conclusion?" I asked.

"The way she looks at you…" He responded.

My eyes went wide. I was blown away. Wesley actually **did** understand love….more than most teens or adults, in fact.

"Well, if she ever **does** tell you that she loves me…tell her I love her too." I suspired. "Now, go to sleep."

He responded with an 'okay' and I tucked him in, kissing him goodnight, before leaving.

"Wait…Katie." He stopped me again.

"Yes, Wesley." I cleared my throat, turning to him again.

"For the record…I think of you as my dad." He said.

I smiled, "And I think of you as my son. Goodnight."


	8. No Big Deal

**A/N: I've been bored and tired, so I decided to write more. Life has been pretty good for me and I've just been wanting to elaborate on my time spent at the Benson house (aka Wes and Amanda's place).**

"So, he's all tucked in?" Amanda asked.

"Yep." I confirmed. "He's out like a light."

Amanda laughed to herself and I took a seat beside her on the black leather couch.

"Y'know, throughout the entire time we've spent together after I had Wesley…I realized that I've never actually told you how much I appreciate you doing everything for me." She sighed.

I smiled as she leaned on my shoulder, my arm around the back of the couch.

"It really isn't a big deal." I shrugged it off.

Amanda pushed herself up and looked at me incredulously.

"Are you kidding?" She asked.

"Uhm….no?" I said uncertain.

"Katie…I basically squeezed your hand to pieces and yelled in your face during labor…**then**, you bought me a condo…**then**, you went furniture shopping with me…and **now**, you're taking care of my son." Amanda elaborated. "Seriously, you call that 'no big deal'?" She asked.

"Well…pftt…when you put it that way…" I stuttered.

She gave me that same 'Oh c'mon' look that she used to do when we were together.

"Look, I just want what's best for you and Wesley. Wes literally, just now, told me that I was like a father figure toward him…and I guess I kinda want to influence him to be a gentleman." I suspired. "I mean, I know it's not really where I stand…but I just-I have a good feeling about that boy."

Amanda was staring at me, this time, her expression showing pride.

"Well, I just want to thank you for it." She smiled.

"Your welcome." I replied.

"Oh, and what exactly happened with the whole 'bad/player/cool kid' persona?" Mandy asked.

"Are you trying to say I'm not cool?!" I feigned a gasp.

"That's exactly what I'm saying." She grinned. "You're a total sappy geek." She laughed.

"Well, is it working for me?" I asked, getting up to get a drink.

"In more ways that one." I heard her whisper her reply.


	9. Pretty Faces And Quiet Parks

**A/N: So my spring break has come to its end and I just wanted to type this up before I actually got through my vacation. Anyways, enjoy.**

'_And now…say hello to your eight legged friend…Oswald!'_

I jolted; woken to the sound of the TV. I quickly looked around, taking in my surroundings. The TV screen flashed with some children's cartoon with an octopus, a flower, a penguin, and a dog shaped like a hot dog. It was still semi-dark outside, and I looked at the clock…realizing that it was five in the morning.

_Since when in the hell did I start waking up so early?_

After hearing some rustling around, I looked down at the couch, to figure out that accompanied by my body, was Amanda's, curled up against me. I realized my left forearm was resting on her torso, and I quickly snatched it away, only to have Mandy pull it back down.

"Stay in bed with me baby…" She mumbled.

I snickered quietly as I slipped back down against the now cold goose down pillow, wondering what I was getting myself into.

Amanda and I were sitting on a park bench, watching Wesley swing his life away. Hell, my legs would've been dead after how much he pumped them when he was on the swings. He was going to high, I was surprised he didn't do a loop and go all the way around the support beam.

"So…" I began to break the silence.

"So…?" She asked.

"So…this morning…you called me 'babe'." I had to laugh a bit, squinting at the sun as I watched Wesley swing.

"'Babe'?" She asked, one brow raised above her sunglasses.

"Well…actually, it was 'baby'. But y'know…same difference." I explained.

"What exactly did I say?" Amanda actually seemed genuinely concerned about the subject at hand, and it made my mind wander.

"Uhm…your exact words were…'stay in bed with me baby'." I replied.

"Hmmm…that's weird. 'Cause, one, I wasn't awake, and two, I didn't dream of anything." Her brows knitted.

"I don't know…but I went straight back to sleep anyways." I shrugged. "'Baby'…it sounded kinda nice. Refreshing." I chuckled.

"Yeah." She smiled plastically.

"Alright, jigs up…tell me what's going on?" I asked.

"Honestly…?" Amanda asked quietly.

I had never seen the girl so vulnerable before and I was amazed at how shy she looked.

"No, I want you to lie straight to my face." I spoke, sarcasm dripping from my every word.

It was strange how I could stick sarcasm in anything…even serious things.

"Well…truthfully…I've had dreams…" She spoke softly, staring at the floor. "…about you." She sighed.

"I don't die in any of these dreams…do I?" I joked, backing away.

She shot me a look that made me feel sympathetic and I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Look, Mands, I'll be by your side through thick and thin…so just tell me already." I said, gently squeezing her shoulder.

She looked up at me, her eyes full of wonder and a hint of sadness.

"After Dan left, I didn't think I'd ever love anyone ever again…and then you just popped on up when I was about to have Wes, and you swept me off my feet, just like before…and…" Amanda's voice cracked. "And ever since then, all I can think about is you."

"I think about you too…all day, every day." I sighed. "That's why I took care of Wes when you were out with all those guys."

"What is it about me that makes all these people so nuts? It's not like I'm drop dead gorgeous like Brooke or Ally are. It just doesn't make sense." She wondered aloud.

"Mandy...Brooke and Ally and Carmen, they're all just pretty faces and hot bodies." I suspired. "You…you've got something that makes you loveable to everyone. Like when I'm talking…I know you're actually listening to what I have to say. Even the first day we met, I knew that you valued our friendship and already cared about me. You're genuine, Amanda. You're pretty on the outside, but what really attracts me is your inner beauty." I explained.

I looked deeply into her eyes. And for the first time in my entire life, I felt like I was looking straight into her soul. I leaned in and softly kissed her on the lips. Before she could even respond, I pulled away.

"I-I'm sorry." I shook my head, standing up.

"N-" Mandy tried to stop me.

"No-I'm just…I'm just gonna head home and…remind myself of what an idiot I am." I sighed, jogging off before she could get in another word.


	10. Lips Touched And Eyes Closed

**A/N: So, according to my parents, I apparently am a self-righteous teenager who has to argue about everything in my mother's words. So yeah, I won't be able to post as much on any stories I have to update because now, I have to go counseling! Again! Wheeeeee! Yeah, so, that sucks. Anyways, enjoy.**

I laid in bed, hoping that whoever coming through the door weren't Amanda or Wesley. It was about eleven at night, everyone in the house was supposed to be asleep, while I felt like an insomniac who just had thirteen energy drinks. Amanda and I had gone through dinner and dish cleaning without saying a word to each other, and apparently, Wes had enough sense to keep quiet himself.

_Who knew one little accidental kiss would lead to so much destruction?_

I rolled over in the bed, closing my eyes, when I suddenly felt someone crawl in next to me. The gentle maneuvers into the covers made me think it was Wesley, frightened of monsters under his bed, but when I turned over, I was surprised to see Amanda clad only in one of my oversized button-ups. We stared at one another, sending silent messages back and forth. I looked at her with confusion and she bit her lip, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers before leaning in half way for a much desired kiss. Lips touched and eyes closed, and I could feel my heart slamming out of my chest. We pulled away, staring once again.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I whispered, half unsure of what I even wanted.

She nodded.

"I love you, Katie." She replied.

I kissed her forehead; grinning…my mind was made up.

"I love you too." I sighed. "Now let's get some sleep."

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me, the heat from her body, instantly setting mine ablaze. I smiled, whispered 'goodnight' and closed my eyes, and before I even knew it, I was passed out.

A flash of sunlight beamed straight on my eyes, through a slit in the curtains, and they slowly fluttered open. I took in my surroundings, as I would every morning, smiling as my eyes landed on Amanda still asleep, her light snores making me chuckle quietly. The motion of me moving in the bed made her stir and I slowly slipped out of the bed and closed the curtains before returning to my post. I laid on my side, my head propped up by my elbow. I slowly pushed a lock of curly brown hair behind her ear and smiled as she automatically pressed her body into mine, nuzzling her nose in the crook of my neck.

"Is it morning?" She asked.

"Yes." I smiled.

"Ugh…" She groaned as she stretched her body out, yawning.

"So, how'd you sleep?" I asked.

"Like a baby." Amanda grinned.

I leaned down kissing her lips and smiled, "Well then, good morning, baby."

Suddenly, Wesley burst through the door.

"Katie, can you make me breakfast?!" He asked loudly.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw that his mother was in my bed.

"Uh…." He grinned toothily. "Nevermind, you can make me breakfast later." He ran off.


	11. Possible Cheaters

**A/N: Okay, so I'm a little hung-over from the party I had last night…but I'm pretty sure what I heard and saw was true. You'll see what I'm talking about when you read the chapter.**

"What's wrong?" I asked Mandy, leaning in close, hoping she heard over the music.

"It's just…I keep worrying about Wes." She shouted back.

"Why?" I asked. "He's safe and sound with Jenna." I replied. "Hell, by now he's probably falling asleep while she talks his ear off."

"I know…I know…it's just I've got that motherly instinct that something bad will happen if I'm not with him." She sighed.

"Alright…well, do you want me to take you home?" I asked.

"No, you've gotta go back home today anyways." Amanda retorted, the music quieting a little.

"Which is why I wanted you to be here tonight." I replied.

She gave me that puppy dog face that I can't handle and I gave in.

"How about you take the car home, and I'll stay here and just hitch a ride tomorrow morning?" I suggested.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" She asked, running her cold hands through my sweaty hair.

"I'm sure." I pecked her on the lips. "Now go. I'll see you on Monday night."

"Okay. Bye babe. I love you." She spoke softly as we hugged, but I could make out her words.

"I love you too!" I yelled as she left. "Tell Wes goodnight!" I added.

Fifteen minutes after Amanda left, I was on the dance floor moving in sync with the blob of sweat and people. Suddenly, someone grabbed my hand and pulled me towards them, making the room spin. I was caught off guard when I was practically tackled by several girls in short skirts and halter tops. Questions hurled my way as soon as I regained balance.

"Oh my God, are you Katie from Adjusted Theory?"

"Like, I love your voice!"

"O-M-G, can you sign my shirt?"

_Groupies; the greatest and the worst part of being in a band._

I was attacked from all corners by the girls while they still managed to rattle off questions. I quickly jumped up and ran as fast as possible up the stairs and locked myself into the host, Jon's, room. I blew out a large breath of air and plopped down on the swivel chair in front of his desk.

"I can't friggin' go back out there." I spoke to myself. "I'll get mauled."

I ran my hand through my hair, deciding that it wouldn't be a good idea trying to scale the house and then drive home while drunk. I turned to the laptop in front of me, logging on as a guest before getting onto MySpace. My brows furrowed when I found that I had a new comment. It was from an old friend, Michael.

'_Hey, are Dalton and Carmen still together?'_

I read it twice before looking at the lit up 'Online Now' button. I shrugged and replied.

'_I think so, but I could be wrong.'_

I got a reply quickly after.

'_Oh, cuz I saw Dalton clinging to two girls the other day...'_

My stomach churned a little. This was not something I should be dealing with. I had just managed to get the girl out of my mind, and now here she was again.

'_Oh, well that sucks. I could be wrong about them being together though. She kinda cut me outta her life, so I wouldn't really know.'_

'_Yeah, it does suck. It seemed like he was her one and only.'_

And then my cell phone rang.

'_Hey, I gotta go.'_

I logged off and flipped open my phone, answering with a 'Hello?'

"Hey, what's up?" Kristen's voice came in on the other end.

"Nothing much…you?" I replied.

The thumping of music became louder, even if it was muffled through the bedroom door.

"Just watching TV. I'm bored…are you at a party?" She asked.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Well, thanks for inviting me." She laughed.

"Hey, I would've, but it's in L.A. And we live like fourty-five miles away." I suspired.

"Oh whatever." Kristen joked around.

"Ooh, you'll never guess what I just found out…" I began.

"What?" She asked.

"Apparently, Dalton was seen clinging to two girls the other day." I replied.

"Seriously?" The brunette wondered aloud.

"Yeah…you know Michael from last year right? He said he saw them."

I finished informing her before we hung up and I went back downstairs, hoping that I didn't get attacked again.


	12. The Fight

**N/A: I'm so bored right now. Fucking teachers are starting to crack down on my ass now that summer's close. So, lately all I've been doing is shoving my face in textbooks and trying my hardest to pay attention in my worst classes. Anyways, I can't believe I've still got like a month and a half to go until summer. Enjoy this chapter.**

"Katie, why the hell are you sitting there talking shit on me?!" Mandy began crying.

_Dude, I am so terrible with tears._

"Oh, stop it. I wasn't talking shit on you." I defended myself, brows knitted.

"Yes you were! I heard you calling me fake!" She threw a piece of Tupperware at me.

"Okay, now is **so** not the time to throw Tupperware!" I dodged the piece of plastic with hands in front of my face. "Look, you just aren't getting it straight." I defended myself.

"What does that even mean?!" Amanda sobbed.

_I hated seeing her like this. I can not, absolutely __**can not**__, deal with crying._

"Look, when you were talking to Danny, I felt so intimidated. We've gone through this once, and I know that I forgave you and we've been working past it, but deep down inside, the worry of you breaking my heart again, or anyone else for that matter, is never ever going to go away!" I yelled. "And I'm trying, God, I'm trying, and I love you…I really do…but…"

"But when you love someone, you don't sit there and call them fake or talk crap about them!" She cut me off.

"You don't…you don't pay attention." I chuckled a bit.

"I do! I do pay attention!" Mandy retorted.

I grabbed her cheeks and pulled her face towards mine and our lips met in a tangle of passion and hate.

"Urgh!" I growled at her as we finally pulled apart. "God…I hate you." I exhaled through a smile.

"I hate you!" She exclaimed, storming out the room.

Wesley sat on my lap, fiddling with my shirt lapels with a sad look on his face.

"Hey bud, do you wanna talk?" I asked him.

He nodded slowly, not once looking me in the eyes.

"So talk to me." I grunted as I lifted him up and turned him towards me, forcing him to look at me.

"Do you really hate Mommy?" He asked.

I sighed loudly; this time it was my turn to stare down at the floor and wipe the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes.

_I hardly ever cried, yet somehow a five year old managed to make me._

"So you heard that huh?" I asked.

He nodded again.

"Look, Wes…that's just my way of showing your mom that I love her." I suspired. "I know that sounds weird and complicated…but that's just how we grown-ups are."

He let out a small puff of air and looked into my eyes.

"So you don't hate Mommy?" He asked.

I shook my head gently, "Not one bit."

"Then why'd you say that you did?" He asked.

"Well…you see, you're just a kid….a smart one…but a kid nonetheless. Adults are different." I sighed. "We screw up and we don't have anyone to tell that to…just like if someone is hurting your feelings…we can't just go up to them like we used to be able to and say, 'Hey, you know…when you talk to him, I feel worried that you're gonna break up with me, so I'm sorry for acting like a jerk,' y'know?" I asked.

He nodded slowly, "I think so."

"Look, when you get older…you've got to face reality…and that's what your mom and I are doing." I explained, picking him up and lying him down in bed.

"Just know this Wesley, it's normal for couples to fight about stupid stuff like that…but in the end, we know we're all each other's got." I exhaled, tucking him in.

I kissed his forehead and told him goodnight before turning off the lights and leaving his room. As I walked down the hall, I ran into the baby-sitter.

"Hey Barbara, look, can you tell Mandy when she comes home that I'm sorry and I'll see her tomorrow night?" I asked.

She nodded and left me to drive back to Corona.


	13. Summer Air And Fireflies

**A/N: The fight was real…and I did have to dodge Tupperware…and it ended in a kiss and 'I hate you', but I can't honestly say the actual subject of why we were fighting. Let's just say it was about a huge screw-up on my part and I didn't feel that I should just go out and tell the world…so, yeah, when I saw that episode of A Shot At Love, I decided I would just throw it in there.. Anyways, enjoy the chapter.**

I sat at the lunch table, chuckling about some TV show with my friends when all of the sudden, I felt a vibrating at my hip. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and flipped it open, answering with a casual, 'Hey.'

"What?!" I jumped up from the table, my stomach churning as I heard the latest news from my best friend.

"Yeah…apparently last night, she took a drive around midnight and crashed into a cement barrier." Mark sighed.

I winced inside knowing that the midnight drive was probably caused by stress from me.

"Is she alright? Is she going to be okay?" I began firing off the questions.

"Well, she's broken her wrist, and she's got some minor bruises and contusions…so, she's okay in the physical department…but…." He began.

"But what?!" I practically screamed into the phone.

"…But she's in a coma." Mark sighed.

My heart stopped and it felt like the entire world came to an abrupt halt. I slowly clicked my phone shut, my eyes wide as I sat back down.

"Katie…Katie…Katie! Katie!" My friends sounded like they were far away.

Everything sounded like I was inside a Plexiglas room and their voices and everyone else's were muffled by the walls.

"Katie!" Elexis finally slapped my arm.

I snapped back to reality, shaking my head violently back and forth.

"Are you okay?" Kristen asked.

"Yeah…" I waved dismissively. "Yeah…I'm fine."

For the rest of lunch my mind would replay my moments with Mandy, from the fights to the sweet whispers and linking hands. One moment seemed to replay constantly in my brain…when we first got together.

_**Flashback**_

"_Hey, can you meet me at my dad's property tonight? I'm lonely and I miss you." The petite brunette breathed into the phone._

_A grin broke out on my face as I replied, "Sure. I'll be there soon."_

"_Good." I could just see her smirk through the telephone._

"_See you in a while." I agreed, hanging up._

_Amanda's dad was the best. He was a warm hearted, caring father…even as a busy social worker. He was the parent that made up for her mom's cold attitude towards me and any other 'unacceptable' child. He owned a piece of property somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, where the family would camp out and play around. The property was over twenty something acres, consisting of a pond, a pool, a playground, and a dirt bike track that led to a lake. The place was a paradise._

_I rolled up to the bunkhouses near the pool, the tires of my white truck creating a small cloud of dust at them. It was past midnight which meant everyone was asleep, their campfires now tiny piles of warm ashes. The crickets chirped as I took my time, walking around the pool, past the playground, and to the actual campsite, where the trailers and tents and the pond were. The pond was shaped like a horseshoe, a piece of land stretching through the middle of the pond, but not reaching the other side. Smack in the middle of the 'semi-island' stood a large old tree, with a tire swing attached to it._

_There, sitting on the small dock beside the tree, her feet dangling off the edge, sat Amanda. I smiled as I quietly jogged over to her, tapping her on the back. She turned around quickly, as if she was startled before getting up and hugging me. I picked her up and spun her around…after all it had already been a week into summer and I hadn't seen her since the last day of school._

_After hugging and greeting each other, we decided to sit up against the old, big tree and talk. We talked in circles and just laughed; watching the glow from the fireflies shine through the green pond water as bluegills slowly swam into the dark forest of algae._

"_I really missed you, you know." The shorter girl sighed as she rested her head on my shoulder._

"_It's only been a week." I chuckled._

"…_I know…but…I mean, you're my best friend…and…" She stumbled for the right words._

"_Amanda…it's okay…I know what you mean." I grinned._

"_Good." She smiled at the pond._

"_I missed you too." I suspired._

"_I know." Mandy laughed._

_Slowly and sneakily, her hand slid up my forearm and into my palm, my fingers stiffening as hers tangled with mine. The gentle strokes of her thumb rubbing the top of my hand made my fingers relax and tighten with hers. I felt so at ease with her right then…I knew what I had to do._

"_Amanda?" I asked._

"_Yeah?" She replied in a sort of grunt as if she were falling asleep._

"_Can I tell you something?" I asked, letting go of her hand._

"_Sure…go ahead." Amanda replied, lifting her head from my shoulder._

_I stood up and rubbed my now sweaty palms together, my stomach tightening with the overload of butterflies as I paced back and forth._

"_Katie, what's wrong?" She asked, standing up also._

"_Look, I know this is gonna sound weird and…probably really crazy…but…" I inhaled the deepest breath I could. "I think I'm in love with you."_

_She just stared at me. Shit. What the fuck was I supposed to do now? Go home?_

_And just then, she grabbed me by the hair and pulled me down to her, our lips just grazing before I slammed her against the tree and kissed her as passionately as I possibly could._

_That night, we made love against that tree in the warm summer air, beneath the glowing stars and fireflies. That summer was the best __**and**__ the worst because after that summer, I wouldn't see Mandy for another two years._

_**End of Flashback**_


	14. Operation Stupid Is A Go

**A/N: So, I've been busy…it's about two weeks 'til summer and I'm dying from all these tests and evil teachers. Why is it, that at the end of the year, when I'm sleepy and ready to chill, the teachers turn into little demons and decide to crack down…hard. I just am not liking school…at all. Anyways, all of this stuff has happened quite a while ago, so…yeah, and for those who noticed the thrown in 'Tila Tequila' stuff…as I said before, I did something low, that I'm not proud of, and so I used that as my cover. Any who, enjoy.**

"For the last time, I am not leaving this spot until you let me see her." I growled in the blonde's face.

"Well then I guess I'll just have to call s-" She began, but was cut off by a forceful brunette woman who grabbed my arm and dragged me a couple feet away.

"Hey! Let go of me!" I yelped, wriggling out of the familiar woman's grip.

"You will not make a scene in here." She scorned.

"I will if I have to." I smirked. "Now let me see Amanda, before I start breaking things." I replied.

"You will do no such thing." The forty-something year old replied. "Besides, by the time you see my daughter again, hell will be frozen over."

"I guess you'll be frozen then won't you, Madeline." I grinned, unafraid of what she was capable of.

Mrs. Benson was a well-respected Burbank doctor and I was on her territory now.

"No, that's where you will be my dear, for you are a sinner. I am Catholic and will be safe and sound up in heaven." Mrs. Benson stated through clenched teeth.

"Wow…do Catholics just get to choose who goes to heaven…or is it just you? 'Cause last time I checked, that was God's choice." I narrowed my eyes.

"Just get out of here Katie. You're no match to me…so don't even try." She sighed.

"I'm not leaving." I stood my ground.

"Fine." She turned to the receptionist and I thought I had won. "Debbie…call security." She smirked.

Next thing I know, I'm sitting on the curb outside the hospital, watching patients wheel by and visitors walk past me.

_I could try and scale the building. Or maybe I could just pretend to be a hospital patient…or a doctor. Nah, too risky. I'd go to jail for that._

My mind raced, desperate to find a way into the hospital room. Finally, my mind clicked on one idea. It was crazy…but I'd try anything at this moment.

"Matt,I swear, if anything happens to any of your internal organs…including your heart…I will give it up to you." I breathed. "I just **need** to get into that hospital room." I whined.

Matt took a deep breath before exhaling loudly; automatically, I knew he caved. Matt would go through anything stupid with me.

"Alright Katie. Operation Stupid is a go." He grinned, flashing pearly whites.

I smirked in response before we agreed with a secret handshake from when we were kids.


	15. Running From Hospital Guards

**A/N: So I'm finally on break, and let me say that it is sooooo wonderful to finally just relax. All I feel like I need to worry about is rolling over so that my ass doesn't fuse to a lawn chair. I can't wait to go to the beach and just skim board and surf all day. Anyways, this has happened a couple months ago. I typed it up a while ago but never got to posting it…so, yeah. Oh yeah, and apparently Mrs. Benson is surgeon, not doctor, but whatever…it doesn't make her any less of a bitch. Anyways, enjoy this chapter.**

"Alright, so we've got the plan down, right?" I asked him.

Matt nodded.

"It's all in here." He tapped his temple.

I worried as I almost heard the echo inside his hollow head. I quickly shrugged off the stupidity of our plan and sat down in the wheelchair. I had broken my legs a while back in a dirt bike accident, forcing me to stop walking for eight months…hence the wheelchair. Matt cautiously wheeled me into the hospital and past the gift shop where flower arrangements and 'get well soon' cards awaited to be bought eagerly. Matt quickened his pace to a semi-fast walk as I felt a slight breeze in my fake mustache, my heart racing. I must say, for prosthetics, some makeup, and fake hair…I looked completely different. We finally made our way to the front desk as I tried to hide my giddiness.

"Excuse me; I'm here to see Amanda Benson." Matt cleared his throat.

The brunette receptionist seemed kind, way less bitchy than the blonde the other day. She beamed at Matt with pearly whites and then smiled down at me.

"Uhm…yes, are you a relative?" She asked as she fiddled with some files.

"No, I'm a friend of the family…but this is her grandfather." He stated kindly, pointing down to me.

She looked a bit confused, her head cocked to the side.

"But I thought Dr. Benson's father died last year?" She wondered aloud.

"Oh no, this is **Mr.** Benson's father." Matt played along.

"Ah…that would explain the darker hair." The woman nodded.

"Well it's not too dark anymore…" I chuckled in a strained voice lifting my hat up with a shaky hand.

The woman grinned, convinced that I was Amanda's grandfather.

Next thing I know, Matt has a visitors pass, accompanied by the receptionist's phone number on his palm as we raced through the halls in high hopes of not seeing Dr. Benson. I held onto the arm-rests as we turned a corner, the chair almost folding up on me. We finally came to a halt at room 3649. Matt looked down at me as I exhaled deeply and got up out of the chair. I stood in front of the open door, 

hesitant of going in. Matt patted me on the shoulder, causing me to snap out of it and look to him. His face was sympathetic as he nodded for me to enter. I finally walked in, turning to look at my girlfriend.

The way she was positioned looked comfortable and she didn't seem to be as banged up as I thought she would…then again, I was always one to think the worst when something bad happened. I looked over to Matt, asking if I could have a second alone with her. He nodded respectfully and walked a few feet out the door, posing as lookout.

"Hey baby girl." I whispered, pulling the makeup and wig off of me.

Her eyes didn't open and I inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly.

"I missed you. You don't know how many times I've tried to get in here…" I sighed. "God, if only you could see what a mess I am without you…I can't even sleep unless Wesley's by my side." I gently pushed her bangs aside, revealing a soft, unharmed forehead.

"When I'm not taking care of Wesley or trying to bust in here, I'm sitting there, wishing that I was the one who got in this accident. You didn't deserve any of this…if I had just stayed committed and stopped fooling around…we wouldn't have fought and you wouldn't have even taken that drive. This is all my fault." I whimpered quietly. "If I had to throw myself under a bus…if I had to jump off the Empire State Building…if I had to burn in hell for the rest of eternity just to have you be all right…I would-"

"Katie! We gotta go!" Matt exclaimed, cutting me off.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Mrs. Benson saw us! She called security! Operation Stupid is over!" He yelled.

"Shit!" I growled, jumping over a chair.

"Let's go!!" Matt hurried me.

He folded up the chair, picked it up, and we booked it down the hall.

"Hey! Stop!" We heard the security guard, Tom, whom I've met plenty of times.

"Shit! Shit! They're coming!" My heart felt like it was going to explode as we reached a dead end.

"The stairs! The stairs!" Matt pointed.

We quickly slid down the linoleum floors and ran down the stairs, not worrying about tripping. We made it down three flights of stairs before stopping for breath.

"Agh…dude, I think my ankle's broken." Matt groaned.

"Well at least we're in a hospital." I joked.

"How can you keep a sense of humor at a time like this?" He gasped for air. "We could get thrown in jail!"

"Nah…Tom's fat, he won't catch up." I breathed heavily.

"Haven't you ever heard of backup?" Matt yelled, still straining to breathe.

Suddenly the door busted open and the yells of not one, but four security guards echoed through the halls along with stomping.

"Breaks over!" I exclaimed, taking off.

We ran down the last three flights of stairs, the guards still hot on our tails. We finally made it to the bottom, only to be stopped my Tom.

"Well, well, well…looks like you two are in some big trouble." He grinned.

I looked over at Matt, his eyes desperate for a way out. I directed my eyes to behind Tom, nodding.

"Aw c'mon Tom, it's gonna be like that. Aren't you tired of throwing me out?" I asked.

"Ahaha, not when it comes to getting a bonus from Dr. Benson." He chortled.

"Hey look, speak of the devil." I pointed behind him.

He turned around before I pushed him forward, making him stumble over Matt who had got behind him when we had a brief chat. Tom crashed directly on his face and Matt and I got up and booked it through the front doors. We made it out to the Escalade in the parking lot, when we high-fived.

"Dude, that was so sweet!" Matt laughed.

"I know!" I chuckled. "Who knew two totally old-school, bogus tricks like that worked!?" I laughed.

"Apparently Tom didn't." Matt snickered.

"Ahh…I will remember this for the rest of my life." I grinned.

"Haha, same here." He wiped away a tear from laughing so hard.

"Aww, whatever…we gotta get outta here before they come outside and write down our license plate number or something." I sighed.

"Yeah, let's get back to my house. Mom's making ravioli." He smiled.

"Alright!" I whooped.

We put the wheelchair in the hatchback before we peeled out of the hospital parking lot, speeding off to the Cannon abode.


	16. Ravioli And Kind Words

**A/N: So, yeah…I'm bored…again. It's hot and I already went to the beach and surfed until my legs felt like jello…so, I decided to come home, wash the sand out of my shorts and hair, and write some more. Anyways, I'm exhausted, so this chapter might come off sloppy. But it's kind of just filler…but enjoy.**

"So, how was she?" The Italian woman asked.

"She's still in a coma, but she looked better than I thought she would." I replied, smiling as I played with my food.

"See, I told you she'd be alright." Mrs. Cannon patted my back.

"Yeah…I guess. But I can't help but still feel terrible about it." I sighed loudly.

"Katie, you can't keep blaming yourself for what happened. It wasn't your fault…not one bit of it was. It just…happened." Matt answered for his mom.

"C'mon Matt…you and I both know that's a lie." I rolled my eyes at him, shoveling a mouthful of ravioli into my mouth.

Matt and his mom both gave me the same 'cut-it-out' look and I chuckled inside.

"Well you guys might not think so…but I do. You know me…I'm one of those people who think everything happens for a reason…and the reason for Mandy's car crash was me." I frowned.

"Now, I won't have anymore of that talk." Mrs. Cannon scorned me. "This wasn't your fault or anyone else's…it was just bad luck."

"All I'm saying is-" I began.

"Ah-t-t…don't say anything. Just eat." She commanded.

I pouted a bit before looking over with narrowed eyes at Matt who was trying to hinder a laugh. He tried for several seconds before bursting out in a fit of laughter.

"Shut up!" I elbowed him. "Gosh…now I see why your brother tries to stay away from you as much as possible."

"Aww come on. I was kidding…it's just funny seeing my mom tell someone else what to do. Especially you!" He snickered.

"Oh hush up Matt." Mrs. Cannon smacked him upside the head, making me giggle quietly.

Matt glared at me before I quickly changed the subject.

"Speaking of your brother…where is he?" I asked.

"Oh, Christopher's at football practice." Mrs. Cannon answered.

"Oh yeah, I totally forgot that he was trying out for the freshman team." I nodded.

"Yeah…it's so cute…he wants to be just like his big brother." Mrs. C grinned, rubbing Matt's shoulder.

I smiled, nodding. It was so pleasant to see a parent who was actually proud of their children. As for me, I had hardly even heard the words, 'I love you, Honey.' It might have come on occasion…when I was six...but that was it.


	17. I'm Not Proud Of What I've Done

**A/N: I'm not proud of done, so when I put what I did in this story…I hope you appreciate it. Anyways, this chapter will be a bit 'mature'….not like 'smut-mature' but 'mature.' Anyhow, enjoy this chapter.**

I sat on the roof, taking a deep drag from my Marlboro before slowly letting out a long stream of smoke. It was raining and the only thing keeping me dry was the roof above me, only protecting my head, leaving the rest of my body exposed. But my mind wasn't on the rain or the stupidity of sitting on a slippery roof that was three stories high…it was stuck on the thought of what happened before the fight Amanda and I had.

_**Flashback**_

"_C'mon Katie, why won't you just screw me already?" Alyssa whined._

"'_Lyssa, you have a boyfriend." I sighed, unbuttoning my over shirt as I looked at myself in the mirror._

"_That's never stopped you before." She rumbled, running her hands down my shoulders._

"_I have a girlfriend whom I have a date with." I stated, taking her hands off of me._

"_Oh please Katie…you never commit to __**anyone**__. Why would I believe that?" Alyssa practically cracked up at the thought._

"_Because it's the truth. I mean, I know that before…walls obstructed my heart, but it's different now." I replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take a shower." I sighed, pushing past her._

_I walked into the bathroom, about to close the door when Alyssa stopped me._

"_Can I at least come in and talk to you while you get ready for your __date__?" She asked._

_I looked at her with furrowed brows for a minute before giving into a puppy dog pout._

"_Alright…but if you look…I swear." I warned._

"_I won't; I promise." Alyssa grinned, closing the door behind her._

_She sat herself on the toilet seat while I stripped down and got into the shower. Luckily, the cloudy grey glass made it unable for Alyssa to see anything other than my shoulders and head. I turned the shower on, the warmth making me turn away from the shower head. I got the shampoo and rubbed it into my hair, closing my eyes so that it wouldn't run into them. It was while I was rinsing my hair out that I heard a quiet whimper, followed by strained and heavy breathing. I slowly turned around, moving my sweepy bangs out of my face and rubbing the glass door to see what was going on outside of the shower._

_There I saw Alyssa, head thrown back and eyes shut, hand exploring between her thighs as she bit her lip, encumbering any moans or whimpers. As I stared, allured to go and pleasure her, she opened her eyes and looked straight into mine…not blinking once. And that was all it took. I was out of the shower, on my knees in front of her in just a few seconds. I placed my hands on bare thighs as we shared a long kiss, my _

_brain turning into mush. One thing led to another and next thing I know, Amanda's screaming and throwing Tupperware at me._

_**End of Flashback**_

"She meant to do this…to tempt me. To make me want to please her so much, that I became unfaithful. I never wanted for this to happen. I just wanted to dress up in a suit and go out on a romantic date at the beach with my girlfriend…but I ended up almost killing her." I spoke my thoughts aloud, a single tear falling along with thousands of rain drops.


	18. Sighing With A Tear Stained Face

**A/N: Alright so, I've been a having fun making movies with my friends…you know, just making memories. So, I've lost most of my writers block and I've gotten most of the creative juices flowing, and since it's summer, you can hope for more updates faster. Anyways, enjoy this chapter.**

I sat on the couch, quietly watching TV. It had been so lonely living in a house with no one around. Without Wesley or Amanda, the condo was just a place where memories of us together echoed throughout the pictures hanging in the halls.

"…Hello? Anybody home?" I heard a quiet, raspy voice from the doorway, making me turn around quickly.

"Amanda!" I leaped up, unaware of what to say.

"Hey…" She spoke quietly, slowly walking into the room.

I was so shocked I couldn't even move.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my brain finally formulating a sentence.

"I just came to gather all of my stuff…I'm moving back in with my mom." Amanda sighed.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked. "You're-you're just gonna move out?"

"Katie…what am I supposed to do?" She fired the rhetorical question at me.

"Y-you're supposed to stay. You're supposed to live with me and Wesley just like before." I stammered, my brows furrowed in confusion.

"…Katie, you didn't visit me **once** while I was at the hospital…I can't just pretend like nothing happened." She cried.

"….But I love you." I tried to blink back tears.

I realized that I had not even mentioned that I had tried countless times to get into her hospital room.

"If you really loved me…you would've at least **tried** to come see me." She sobbed.

Still, my body did nothing to stop her…in fact, my mind registered on something. I created this mess with what I had done, and now I was going to fix it. And if that meant letting her go…then that's what I was going to do.

"You know what…you're right." I sighed. "I don't deserve you…"

"I didn't say that…." Amanda suspired.

"No…but I know deep inside that that's the truth Amanda." I stared at my feet before finally looking up at her. "I love you…but I'm not good enough. And that's okay. Someday you'll find someone who has 

worked hard and deserves your love. And maybe when I work hard and stop trying to scrape by on luck…I'll find someone too."

She just blinked, her tear stained face making me feel even more miserable.

"I-uh…I gotta go." My voice cracked and I cleared my throat.

"Goodbye Amanda." I brushed past her, slowly walking out the door.


	19. Cold Air And Familiar Rooms

**A/N: Alright, so now that it's summer, my sleep pattern is completely crazy…and now it's like my body has no understanding of the definition of sleep. So…now chapters will probably most be likely be posted at midnight or later…so, it's got weird update hours. Just thought you should know. Enjoy.**

I slowly walked up to the door of the old familiar house. I hadn't spent a full hour there ever since the first semester of school. The cars were in the driveway, which was unusual considering the past years I'd spent there. I knocked on the white door twice and rang the doorbell. After a few moments, the door opened.

"Katie…" The woman sighed.

"Hey Mom." I smiled hesitantly.

She opened the door wider and pulled me into a warm embrace, startling me.

"We missed you." She breathed as we pulled apart, allowing me to walk inside.

"Really?" I asked as she closed the door behind me.

"Of course. We may be gone a lot, but it doesn't mean we don't love you." She chuckled.

I dropped my bags by the hall closet and we walked to the kitchen.

"Mom, who was it?" My sister yelled.

"Woah, there's no way that's my little sister." I grinned.

Erin turned from the table with wide eyes before running up and giving me a bear hug.

"What are you doing here? I missed you so much!" She exclaimed.

I laughed as her childlike ways reminded me of a certain little boy.

"Well, I missed you guys so much that I decided I'd move back in." I joked.

"Ahaha, right…now tell me why you really did come back." My mom laughed.

"Well, honestly, I did miss you guys…but uh…Amanda and I just kinda…" I couldn't it even explain it to them.

"Got in a fight?" Erin asked.

"Kinda…but…it was a little more serious than that." I shrugged.

"What do you mean?" My mom asked, "Wait, you didn't abuse her, did you? I thought those anger management classes worked!"

"Mom! Mom! Chill." I calmed her down. "Anger management **did** work…besides, I would never hurt Amanda." I sighed. "Anyways, she probably 'abused' me more than I ever did her."

"What does that mean?" Erin asked.

"Let's just say that I had to dodge over several pieces of Tupperware." I shook my head, taking a seat at the table.

"Well, what happened?" My sister exclaimed.

And so, I spilled the entire story to them. And although they were disappointed with my unfaithful ways, they stood by my side and allowed me to stay at home again.

I walked into my room, taking in the familiar surroundings. The cold air from the window blew in above my bed and in my face, making me close my eyes. I forgot how great my room was.


	20. A Suprise In The Mail

**A/N: So, I couldn't sleep, so I decided to write some more. I know these chapters are flying out really quickly, but I find it almost as a 'sorry' card, for not posting for a while earlier. Anyways, enjoy.**

It had been weeks since I last talked to Amanda or even heard about her. I was so caught up with school work and finals because I was taking them early so I could skip the last week of school to hit the beach, that I lost track of time. It was Friday afternoon and I got out of school early because it was a teacher planning day. I was relaxed and spread out on the couch watching TV when my mom walked in from the garage, high heels clicking against tile with her sunglasses perched atop plum colored hair.

"Hey Honey, what are you doing home so early?" She asked, setting her purse down on the end table.

"It was a minimum day." I sighed, flipping the channel to MTV.

"Oh, that's nice." She smiled, beginning to walk up the stairs. "Oh crap, Honey, would you mind getting the mail? I completely forgot to get it."

"Yeah, sure." I replied calmly, getting up from the couch.

"Thanks." She called down the stairs before going into her room to change out of her work clothes.

I sighed, opening the garage door and walking down the driveway to the mailbox, hoping my socks wouldn't get wet from walking on the grass. I grabbed the envelopes and catalogs before retreating to the house, not failing to notice that my socks were soaked with stains of green. Once I got into the house, I sorted out the mail, searching for anything that might belong to me…report card, catalog, or maybe an early birthday card with some cash. By the time my mom came back to the family room, I had found a CCS catalog and a coral colored envelope for me. The envelope said my name in familiar cursive with Mrs. Benson's address. I eagerly tore it open and flipped open small white card.

'_You are cordially invited to the Benson residence for our annual wine tasting party.'_

Below were the date and time. I sighed, remembering the first time I had gone to their wine tasting party…I had spent most of it in the bedroom with a drunken Amanda and ended it by falling off the room and landing in a rose bush, where I proceeded to almost get mauled by their Rottweilers and ripped my tie in the process of running away from them.

"What's that Honey?" My mom asked.

I turned to her quickly, shoving the card back into the envelope.

"Just some stupid fancy-shmancy party I got invited to." I scoffed.

"Oh, okay…I thought it was a progress report or something like that." She waved it off, asking me to hand her the remote.

I gave her the remote, took my mail, and went up to my room to contemplate on whether I should go to the party or not.

_Would it give me a chance to talk to Amanda…what about Wes? Could we at least reconcile our friendship? Should I tell her about how I __**had**__ visited her during her coma, but I let her break up with me because I felt unworthy?_

There were so many questions, yet so little time.


	21. Elegant Foyers And Kitchen Meetings

**A/N: So, I just kinda got a montage of fond memories and it made me want to write more. I'm still so happy it's summer. All I'm gonna do is go to the beach, swim in the pool, hang out with friends, and write. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

I sighed, finally taking the first step out of the car. As Jenna and I walked up the walkway, I immediately noticed the oh-so familiar 'Star Catering' van in the driveway.

I had worked at 'Star Catering' with Jenna last summer so that we could afford beach crap which now basically lived in our car trunks. Jenna was my accomplice for the night's plans; there to help me stay calm and back me up. Now that the 'Star Catering' crew was going to be here, I had **extra **backup.

Jenna and I walked up to the open door, nodding at each other before stepping inside.

"Fancy…" Jenna stated quietly as we walked into the elegant foyer of the Benson house.

The marble floor sparkled with pride, and the white walls and black banisters seemed to match the decorations. The room buzzed with people ranging from children to adults in their forties; sipping wine, juice, and eating some type of appetizer. Jenna and I walked through crowds of people and into the kitchen, hoping to see any old friends. The first to recognize us was, Missy, a girl I had a fling with in the past.

"Oh my God!" She squealed, running up and squeezing us in a warm hug.

This called some more attention to us, making Brittany, Jesse, Zach, and the owner of 'Star Catering' Melissa drop what they were doing to catch up with us.

"So, how's everything going?"

"What've you been doing?"

"Why are you here?"

"Are you coming back to work here?"

The questions were fired off all at once and I was so overwhelmed, I just let out a nervous chuckle. Soon enough, the inquisitions were answered.

"So, have any of you seen Amanda?" Jenna asked.

_Duh. _It had completely slipped my mind until the moment that she asked.

"You mean that hottie with the brown hair? Kinda short…got a kid that leeches to her." Zach asked.

I was a little agitated at the 'hottie' part…but if it helped me find her, then it was worth it.

"…Yes." I sighed.

"Uh…last I saw her; she was over in the living room talking to some blonde guy." He replied.

_Blonde guy? Had she moved on __**that**__ fast?_

Of course, as usual, my mind went to the worst.

"Katie…Katie…Katie!" Brittany shook me.

"Yeah, huh? What?" I snapped out of it.

"Don't psych yourself out." Jenna advised.

"What do you mean?" I asked, pretending not to understand.

The catering crew had gone back to business and Jenna and I left the kitchen.

"I seriously can like hear you thinking about what she's doing with some blonde guy…but Zach said he looked like he was in his late twenties…so, it shouldn't be anything." She reassured me.

"So? My sister's younger than me and she's got a boyfriend who's twenty!" I exclaimed.

"Katie, just calm down…it'll be cool." She replied, patting my back.

"…Alright…but if this doesn't work out…I swear!" I warned.

"Fine...if this doesn't work…you can do anything you want…" Jenna sighed. "Let's just go look for your girl."

And so we began our journey throughout the house, hoping not to run into Mrs. Benson.


	22. Listening By The Lake

**A/N: Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I just got some huge news that I had to swallow and it's taking a while getting over it…so, I just kinda got writers block. But I'm back and ready to write more, so enjoy this chapter.**

I exhaled, enjoying the warm breeze that only added to the summer night as I let my hand skim over sparkling lake water. I may not have been 'happy,' but I at least felt a calm settling in my heart as I looked over the serene scene.

I tried my hardest to be happy that I was at least somewhere beautiful, but my mind was elsewhere.

_**Flashback**_

"_Hellloooo?" Jenna called through the hall._

_We were now on the second floor of the Benson's home, still in search of Amanda and Wesley._

"_Ugh…just forget it, we're not gonna find 'em." I grumbled, standing behind her, about to turn and leave._

"_Hold up there, we still haven't checked this room." She stopped me._

"_Well then, check!" I rushed her._

_I had a terrible feeling that I would run into Mrs. Benson, and I really didn't want that to happen._

"_Alright, alright. Calm down Rambo Jr." Jenna sighed. "Sheesh."_

_She slowly opened the door and we peeked in. I was shocked to see Amanda making out with some blonde guy on the bed. Jenna quickly shut the door and turned to me with a face not of worry, but of fear._

"_Are you okay?" She asked._

_I inhaled and closed my eyes tightly, hoping that I would just black out and not wake up. Unfortunately, when I opened my eyes, Jenna was still there and we were still standing in the middle of the hall._

"'_Old' my ass." I grumbled, turning around and walking away. "Fucking Zach."_

_**End of Flashback**_

"You know, you're in over your head if you think you're gonna find Amanda here." I heard a familiar voice.

I turned around to see Mr. Benson's warm smile gracing his gentle face.

"She hasn't come down here in almost three years. Come to think of it, I think you were with her the last time she was." He chuckled as he sat down on the fishing dock beside me.

I looked at him with furrowed brows. The last time she was here with me was that night by the pond. My eyes widened as I looked up at him. He just nodded.

"I could tell you loved her from the moment you walked through our front door." He grinned.

"Yeah…well, I don't think she feels the same way." I suspired.

"Are you kidding me?" Mr. Benson laughed.

I just looked at him solemnly, and his head turned back to the water beneath us.

"If you lived with us, you'd realize how much she really does." He sighed. "If she's not sulking around the house, she's sitting there babbling her brains out about you or how she wonders what you're doing." He chuckled.

"Yeah, well as much as I'd like to believe you Mr. B, actions speak louder than words…and her actions screamed that she is completely over me." I replied.

"What in the Sam hell does that mean?" Mr. Benson turned his full attention to me.

"Well the other day, when you guys had the wine tasting party…I came to talk to Amanda, but I couldn't find her, so I went upstairs to look for her…and when I opened her door, she was all over this blonde guy." I managed to choke out.

"Blonde guy?" He asked.

I just nodded.

"Never thought she was into blondes…" He murmured. "Look, Katie…everyone grieves in their own ways." He sighed. "Maybe she was just trying to get over you."

"Or maybe she was already over me." I grumbled. "It doesn't matter. She doesn't want to talk to me or see me, and besides, Mrs. B doesn't like me…so maybe it's for the better." I shrugged.

Mr. Benson opened his mouth to respond, but a distant telephone ring from his small lookout shack stopped him.

"I gotta get that." He sighed, getting up and jogging over to the shack.

I know he wanted for me to wait for him, but I didn't. I just wanted to be alone. So I got in my truck and drove off to somewhere more private.


	23. Enough Talk About Blonde Guys

**A/N: So I've been on this like…grape soda binge…and it's completely crazy. It's kept me up for three days straight and turns me into this crazy 'meth head' looking freak, and I end up like vacuuming at midnight. Not just that, but supposedly, it turns your poop green, so…that excites me a little. Haha, kidding, kidding. Anyways, um…enjoy this chapter.**

I cleared my throat as I sat beside the curly-haired boy before I took off my sunglasses, not looking at him.

"You wanted to talk?" I asked, still staring out into the air.

"Dude, I am so glad you're here." Brad replied.

I finally turned toward him. His hair was unkempt and his eyes were bloodshot and had bags underneath them. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, let alone blink.

"I shouldn't even be here talking to you, Brad." I sighed.

After I had gotten home from the beach, Bradley, Amanda's brother, called me to meet him at the park.

"C'mon, just 'cause my sister broke up with you, doesn't mean we can't be friends." He nudged me with his elbow.

A cold breeze penetrated the trees, making the leaves shake and whistle during the moment of silence.

"Man, wrong thing to say…wrong thing to say." I shook my head in response.

I pulled the familiar flask out of my jacket and unscrewed the lid before taking a swig.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said that…" He suspired. "But seriously, she is slowly driving me **insane**."

I just looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

"All she does all day is sit around and eat my ice cream and cry." Brad grabbed my shoulders shaking me. "Do you know how much that ice cream costs?!"

All I could do was stare at him. I felt lifeless, and as much as it sucked to hear that Amanda was upset…I figured it was probably something to do with that blonde douche bag. So, why should I care?

"Look, what do you want me to do?" I breathed. "Kick that dude's ass?"

"I want you to…wait, what dude?" He asked.

"I don't know his name." I waved my hand as I took another swig from the flask. "I just know he was blonde."

"Blonde?" Brad seemed confused.

"Yeah…y'know…yellow hair?" I asked.

"Yeah, I know what blonde is…I just never though Mands would go for a blonde." He squinted.

"Ugh! What is it with you men?!" I jumped up. "I keep thinking that you or your dad are gonna tell me something important about a blonde guy…like maybe where he lives so I can go bust his ass…but instead, you just tell me that you didn't think Amanda liked blondes!" I fumed.

"Dude, calm down…I'm sorry…" Bradley settled me down. "Although I do know a blonde…she was hot."

All I could do was roll my eyes at him. He was a boy, so I guess I would let his stupidity slide this time.

"But anyways, that's not the point." He waved his hand. "Mandy's not crying over some blonde dude; she's crying over you."

"What?!" I asked, as if the statement was ludicrous. "It's not like I did anything! She was the one who said I didn't really love her!" I slurred a bit, taking another swig of the mystery alcohol in my flask.

"Give me that!" He growled, snatching the flask away.

"Listen, either Mands lied to you…or she didn't really mean it because all she does is sit at home and whine about how she misses you and how she wishes you would come and sweep her off her feet or something like that." He complained.

"Then why does she keep doing these condescending things. Why can't **she** just come and talk to me?" I asked.

"Mom's had her on lock-down." Bradley shrugged.

"So? With Madeline's schedule, she couldn't keep watch of the house for two minutes." I replied.

"I know…but with her temper…Amanda could be ripped to shreds if leaves the house for two minutes." He stated. "And don't call my mom Madeline…it's weird." He shuddered.

"Yeah…well, if I go to your house, **I'll **be ripped to shreds…and thrown in prison." I responded.

"Then I guess we're just gonna have to figure out a way to get you in there secretly."


	24. The Talk

**A/N: Oh my God, I think I might be half dead. I had some stupid orthodontist appointment and my orthodontist told me that I have to get surgery for my upper jaw because it's so much smaller than my bottom jaw that it might actually get stuck inside of it. So, I seriously have had no sleep because all I can think about is having someone cut open the roof of my mouth, splitting the jaw bone, and putting some metal spreader between it. I'm not sure if the surgery is dead set to be on the 16****th****, but I'm hoping it's not. Anyways, enjoy this chapter before I go into surgery.**

"Ugh…that plan wouldn't work. Madeline…I mean, your mom…would hear us." I sighed.

It was probably the sixteenth idea we had come up with and failed at making it actually work.

"Well, then maybe you should just scale the side of the house. 'Cause other than that, I've got nothing." Bradley sighed.

"Yeah, I'll scale the side of your house and get mauled by your dogs again." I groaned. "Seriously, do you like…not feed them or something?"

"It's not my job to feed them! Collin got them for us in the first place and then he left off to college leaving Amanda and I to take care of them." He replied, drinking the last of what was in my flask.

"Hey…I got an idea…how about we just go up to the front door, ring the bell, and walk inside." I exhaled.

"Yeah…that's the worst idea we've had yet." Brad laughed.

"Nah, the worst one was the one where I set your mom's car on fire just to get her outside." I snickered.

"Yeah, okay…that one was dumb…but still, it would've been cool to see a car blow up." He smiled.

"True…true." I agreed. "But you have to admit that just going inside your house like normal was the only plan that would **actually** work."

"Yeah, but I'm sure something would stop us once we were inside…especially if my mom answered the door."

--

I breathed deeply before hesitantly knocking on the door. I waited a few minutes before thinking that no one was home. I began to turn away when the door opened. I turned back around to come face to face with none other than Mrs. Benson. The woman I was holding my breath not to see…and God comes and deliberately puts her behind the door.

"Uh…." I didn't know what to say.

"Oh, Katie, thank God you're here." She replied to my silence.

I was shocked, my mouth hung open as she dragged me inside the house.

"Look, I need to talk to you about this whole situation with my daughter." Mrs. B spoke, shutting the door.

_Wonderful. Just when I thought every Benson talked to me about Amanda, Mrs. Benson wanted to. This was going to be one of the worst talks in my life._

I still stood in shock until she finally gestured to the kitchen. I hesitantly began walking into the kitchen before I took a seat at the breakfast nook stool. She sat herself behind the counter, grabbing two glasses and pouring what I thought was coke in both of them.

I finally cleared my throat and spoke up, "So…uhm…you're not gonna yell at me are you?"

"No, but we are gonna talk." She sighed.

I relaxed as the tension was loosened up a bit.

"Look, first, I need to apologize about the way I've treated you this entire time." She sighed.

If her opening the door wasn't enough to give me a heart attack, that sentence alone was. The entire time we'd known each other had been filled with spiteful actions and harsh words that fired back at one another every five seconds we were within spitting distance of each other. I felt like my face would be stuck in the same 'shocked' position for the rest of my life.

"Uhm…apology accepted?" I managed to squeak out. "Also, **I'm **sorry for everything I've done. I know it's not easy for a mother to have someone take their kid away from them." My voice cracked.

"Well that's what I initially want to talk about." Mrs. Benson cleared her throat. "I'm not sure why it took me so long to realize how in love with you that my daughter was, but during the past few weeks, I've seen why she'd come home dancing in with a wide smile while she was with you. I need you to get back together with her." She sighed, almost on the brink of tears.

I was literally stunned. The neglectful vile woman I had once known had turned into a vulnerable kind lady. I took a sip of my coke, hoping my voice would come back.

"Katie, you make her happy and I've finally learned to accept that." She put a hand on my shoulder. "Please, tell her you love her…make her happy like she used to be." She begged.

"Alright, alright!" I finally exclaimed. "You don't have to ask me twice."

The woman smiled widely. It was the first and only time I had actually seen her real smile and I saw where Amanda got hers from.

"Just tell me where I can find her." I breathed.


	25. Lingering Above The Doorknob

**A/N: Okay, so I'm tired…but I'm trying to finish this up. I am currently finally crashing down from my grape soda jitters, so sorry if this is sloppy. But anyways, enjoy this chapter.**

As I descended down the hall, I felt like my body was moving in slow motion. The house was quiet until I approached her door. I took a few breaths that seemed to last for hours while my hand lingered above the doorknob. I turned the handle and pushed the door open hesitantly.

"God, what is wrong with me?" I heard quiet sniffling.

"Mom…" Wesley's soft voice quieted the whimpers as he embraced her.

His head peeked over her shoulder and his eyes locked with mine before he pulled away from his mom and walked over to me. He just looked up at me as Amanda turned quickly, startled to see me.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, quickly wiping away her tears.

"I-" I stopped myself before I said anymore.

I looked down at Wes, "Wes, do you think you could give me and your mom a minute?"

He just nodded, giving me a small smile before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

"What are you doing here?" Amanda repeated her question, turning back around.

I walked over to her and took a seat beside her on the bed.

"I wanted to see you." I spoke quietly.

I didn't know how to start off or even what to really say…I was at a loss for words.

"I missed you." She replied in between sniffles.

"So I've heard…" I smiled solemnly. "I missed you too. A lot."

The room was silent for a moment before Mandy decided to break it.

"Look Katie, I'm already dealing with a lot of things right now, so if you came her to say something, can you please just…say it already?" She choked on her held in sobs and let her hair fall around her face so she could hide.

"I would…but I can't see your face." I breathed.

She sighed before lifting up her head and looking at me. She looked completely miserable. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy and cheeks were stained with tears.

"I'm sorry." I exhaled.

"For what?" She asked.

"For being a douche bag…look, when you said that I didn't come visit you in the hospital…I did…you just didn't know." I sighed.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" She sniffled, her brows furrowed.

I smiled at the face she made and wiped a stray tear that had managed to escape the others that were being blinked back. I took my hand off her face and placed it back in my lap.

"Well…when you started talking about how I hadn't come to see you, which was untrue…it triggered something in my brain and I realized that I didn't deserve you…" I explained. "I realized that the entire accident was my fault. If I hadn't cheated, we wouldn't have fought, and you wouldn't have taken that drive…and none of this would've happened. And so I just…didn't tell you."

"You really think that this is your fault?" Amanda asked.

I just nodded.

"Katie…no matter what, I will **always** love you…whether you're unfaithful or stupid or you just leave…I will always love you." She suspired. "None of this was your fault…it was just…bad timing. Or some kind of bad luck."

I laughed, "That's what Matt's mom said."

"Well she's right." She smiled. "It was no one's fault. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I guess so…" I breathed.

Mandy elbowed me.

"I mean, I know so." I chuckled.

"There you go." She grinned.

"You know what's crazy? You're mom was actually the one to finally convince me to come up here and talk to you." I laughed.

"What?" Amanda asked in a high pitched voice.

"I know, right?" I smiled, "She said she finally saw how happy we make each other."

Amanda just laughed along with me. I felt like when we were kids. I stared at her, and before I knew it, our lips crashed together, sending waves of pleasure and passion to my brain. We pulled apart, blushing and smiling like children.

"I feel like I finally smoked a cigarette four years after I quit." I smiled.

She looked at me confused.

"It feels **so** good." I laughed.

"God you are **such** a dork." She rolled her eyes.

"You love it." I grinned, tickling her sides.

"Agh! Noooo!" She giggled, wriggling around.

"Tickle fight!!" Wesley burst through the door, jumping on the bed and playing along.

**THE END**


End file.
